Self-quarantine has been the most stressful experience of my life. I'm pretty adept at managing stress since we have had a lot in our family over the years. But the past month has just been too much for my mind and body to manage. After a series of stressful events over and above pandemic panic, I had five horrifying anxiety attacks that felt like my body was possessed. The worst part was that several doctors suggested we isolate from our kids until we knew what was going on. This was heartbreaking. On day eight I ended up in the ER completely convinced I was dying from organ shutdown but was discharged for anxiety by the amazing, kind, supportive Mission Hospital staff.
Falling apart is so not like me and yet may be why I ended up there. It has made me realize how strong our minds really are over our physical well being. I have had experiences in the past while mountaineering and sailing that illustrated this clearly to me but nothing to this extreme.
I have been resistant to photograph during this time because I've felt absolutely horrible and I didn't want to remember it. But, I have had my camera close and captured some moments here and there. I am starting to find more solace in the simplicity of making images at home. While I miss the ocean terribly, I am incredibly grateful I can see it from my office every day with the company of my family. I have mostly been photographing on the 'view side' of our home and am excited to continue to do so throughout this historical time.